16.10.18

I was looking at woman, and thus tore my trousers.

Morning friends, happy new week and I hope you had a great weekend.

Though recalling this occurrence made me replay tears in my mind, I shall endeavor to lighten up your  mood with it, for those of you who keeps your faces like angry bird on days like this normally. 

I recall sharing this story at a pal's party wherein I was the master of ceremony and all laughed at me, I hope you all don't do the same and I get some pacification in the comments.


The evening was a cool one, that was my second year in the varsity if I recall right, or maybe towards the ending of the first, I stayed in the hostel then. It was a habit of mine to stroll out in the evenings when I don't have anything tying me down for fresh air which isn't the main reason, but to get away to my favorite browsing/charging spot, HALL II bus-stop. Location: UNIBEN.

Something was wrong with that evening, I should have known the extra superman coolness the look of the clouds and the soothing breeze gave me was but just a trap indeed, too bad I fell for it. As I got closed to bus-stop feeling like my first name was Cool and last name's Cat, though I wore a tired Jean trouser and an I've seen better days tee, I made up my mind on what I'd been contemplating.


Well, it's quite a silly/stupid one but come on! I am but just a man after all!!! I had been contemplating doing something guys do normally but I'd never done - to check a girl out, and by check, I really mean CHECK, not a glance kind of thing. As at when I made up my mind to do this I was close to the gate that's not really there, it suppose to be for a drive way that leads straight to HALL III after of course passing I & II, for UNIBEN students, yes, it's that one, yes that one in your mind right now! what? you expect me to stress myself explaining? I am the one that fell, remember!


So as I approached the road I would cross in order to get to the bus-stop which was just across, I smiled at a pretty approaching, I had just made my pick and I was determined to play it like a pro, cool and leaving thoughts in her head. So I did my calculations, to make the time I'd have to look at this dear a bit of a length, I'd prolong the distance I'd take before crossing.

So instead of crossing straight, looking at my pick walking down from the side of HALL I in all glory with a face I can't even recall now (the aftermath shame wiped it away), I raised my brows while biting my lips like a superhero modelling and veered of into the lawn which is quite a bushy part adjacent HALL II, that way I had more time to stare sideways before crossing the road and possibly letting her catch up the pace, come close, and possibly catching a whip of my bend down select cologne that doesn't smell like the price, right before I cross like a boss and give her a look back halfway accompanied with a later girl  wink.


Well, that was and still is a pretty arrangement, albeit, man proposes but God would have no nonsense I suppose, and so it happened, the gutter I had crossed times without number and made calculations for earlier, people of God, I fell into it o!!!

I did not even get to cross let alone get to perform all of the moves I had practiced, for a second, my brain froze, I could not leap out and run to safety from shame for the gutter was quite deep for a short fella like me and I really needed to aid coming out with my hand to succeed at it, but for about 3-5 seconds I was stuck in a million thoughts trying to verify if she did notice I had fell because I was staring at her and trying to form fly nigga. I had just literally experienced sky-fall.


Yes, at this point, that was me literally looking at myself from inside the way this first two guys are looking, and she is the last guy with the smile. I'm like: did God really just throw me from 100-0 real quick for attempted unconventional sightseeing???

To make matter worse, my plan worked, yes, the part wherein she was supposed to catch up with me, as I made my way up, she passed and threw me a sly smile accompanied by sorry. Whadaa!!! my head fell when I head that, can't get worse than that a voice whispered, she definitely knew what led to me checking out the gutter, it was then my trouser made my eyes reply the voice: sure about that??? Jesus! Alas, My jean was torn on the right leg by the knee. And that was so the end of the trousers, after years of gallantry, what a way to go!


I carry this memory with me with all care everywhere I go, I don't have much jeans to spare and Cirphrank can't go and just be falling anyhow every time and be disgracing generations to come. 

If you ask me how I feel now, I'd reply: BAD. What's my advice for youngsters planning to seek loss of focus like I sought? : Don't! that plan is bad for your wardrobe and would make a girl's smile send you to the hall of shame instead of inviting you to glory.

I hope you've learnt a thing or more from reading this, let me read what you think in the comments, was I really out of line? or the gods of our lands were too quick to judge?

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